no body better lay a finger on my...

This has been my most recurrent craving, I actually had this same craving with my first pregnancy.  I could eat an entire bag of fun size right now!  Not a good thing though that there are 2 full bags of fun size in our house right now, I told S to hide from me so I don't eat them all while he's gone during the day :)

kick, kick, kick

After a few days of worrying that something was wrong with the baby, we had another answered prayer...we got to feel the baby kick from the outside!!!  I was laying in bed watching tv and had my hand on my stomach and all of a sudden I felt a kick and then another.  I screamed for S to come and asked him if he wanted to feel the baby kick...of course he did :)  He felt the baby kick a few times and I was so excited for him to finally get to experience that it's been a long 3 years!  Since Friday night the baby has been pretty active at night which is great since that's when S is home and can get the chance to feel the baby.  I am so thanful that our baby is strong enough to kick his/her momma already!

18 weeks

Today I am 18 weeks pregnant...and still worried.  I'm pretty sure I've felt the baby moving but not 100% like I previously was.  Today our baby is this big....

so worried

Since yesterday I have been so worried that something is wrong with the baby, I know this can be totally irrational fear but I hate to think mother's intuition is right.  My fear and worry comes from not having felt the baby move, I think I have in the past 2 days but not sure as before it was such a strong feeling now I'm questioning it.  I don't know what to do.  I'm not sure if I should call my doctor or if I'm just being the normal worrier that I am.  These are the days I wish I had a doppler to at least hear the heartbeat for some reassurance.

week 17

This is how big our baby is now!  No wonder why I have felt a lot more movement this past week.  I've been having some not so wonderful symptoms including headaches, sore neck, back pain which my OB thinks is my sciatica, and allergies...YUCK!  I feel good otherwise, small bouts of nausea and tiredness(mainly at the end of the day).

so emotional

I don't think I realized how much emotional I have been throughout this pregnancy or how much emotion I've been holding in.  I feel like I've clammed up to keep myself safe from getting hurt, most likely hurt again by loosing another baby.  Today those feelings kind of all came out and I feel like a mess but somewhat in a good way too to let it all out.  There is a lot of change going on and if you know me well I don't handle change very well.  I actually feel like the reality of having a baby is setting in which don't get me wrong I could not be more excited for this to finally happen but it is a little bit scary.

mother's day

In my life mother's day was never a big deal, when we were younger we always celebrated mother's day from what I remember but was never a huge event.  As I got older, mayber around 6 or 7, my mom started a tradition of planting flowers on mother's day which since then I have alway joined in unless you count my teenage years when according to my mom I just laid in the sun.  :)  Over the past 3 years I have not really wanted to acknowledge mother's day but still carried on the tradition of planting flowers with my mom.  This year was different for me even though I have lost 2 babies I feel more like a mother this year than years past.  I was celebrated this year as a mother to be!  It actually filled a little void in my heart and the love that I felt from my family was so overwhelming.  I will continue to carry on the tradition of planting flowers with my mom and my child(ren) in years to come.

16 weeks

We had our 16 week appointment today.  All is well with our little pumpkin!  Both of us were amazed at how quickly the doctor was able to find the heartbeat unlike last time :)  I've lost 5 lbs since my last appointment but the doctor was not too concerned about that.  I get to finally stop taking the Metformin!!!  But that means I have to do a 1 hour glucose test at our 20 week appointment since I'm at higher risk for gestational diabetes.  I am still undecided about finding out the sex of the baby but S really wants to.  As of today our baby is this big...

was that you?

I think I may have felt the baby move this morning.  From everything I've read to everyone I've talked to about what it feels like is "it feels like flutters like a butterfly."  On more than one occassion I've responded "ahhh yes because I know what a butterfly in my ute feels like!"  Well I think I felt that flutter feeling, it was more of a soft sweep directly in the middle of my lower belly.  I guess I'll keep paying attention to see if it happens again.  If that was the baby it was super cool and I immediately thought well good morning to you too!

my pants don't fit

Apparently I am getting "thick"...I put on a pair of jeans today and they were too tight to button!  Thankfully my SIL gave me this band thing that you button to the first two belt loops so I can wear still wear my regular jeans for a bit.

an orange

We've made it to 15 weeks!  Our baby is the size of an orange now...Tina do you like oranges?? :)  Due to our baby being the size of an orange I've been told twice this week I'm looking thick!  Who on earth tells a pregnant woman she looks thick....mom and dad???  j/k  I guess I don't see it but S said he does too since my "fat" (as I normally refer to it as) is all over not just a ring around my mid section anymore.  I'm having a hard time not shouting to the world I'M PREGNANT!  I think I'll feel more comfortable after our next appointment which is one week from today.