Answer to my question

I was so puzzled on Thursday when I started bleeding and the nurse at my doctor's office told me it was not my period but just my body trying to regulate itself well that was as far from the truth as it could be.  I was miscarrying AGAIN!  I had been having cramping all day Thursday but was able to manage the pain with Advil and Tylenol.  The cramping was getting worse by the time I went to bed so I took a half a Vicodin by 2am I was woke up because the cramping was getting so bad I could not sleep anymore.  I woke S and we went and laid in the living room mainly because it was cooler than our bedroom and I was getting so hot because I had the heating pad on to try and help with the pain.  At that time I took another Vicodin and tried staying distracted by watching tv.  It was deja vu all over again, same pain and feelings as our first miscarriage.  I kept thinking what is happening to me right now.  I was so confused since my doctor had told me 2 weeks earlier my uterus was empty.  How could this be happening?!  By 4am I was in so much pain all I could do was scream and cry, finally I made S call my mom.  She said it's time to go to the ER.  So slowly(because I was in so much pain I could barely move) but surely we made it to the ER.  I explained to the nurse I had a miscarriage 2 weeks earlier but was bleeding and had horrible cramping.  I was immediately taken into an exam room and not too long after I was given pain medication.  The rest is kind of a blur for me since I was drugged.  The things I remember were the nurse and ER doctor being very nice and gentle, the ER doctor doing an internal exam and saying there is still tissue stuck in my cervix and I would have to have an ultrasound then and D&C.  During the ultrasound I kept felling asleep by the time we got back from the ultrasound my parents had arrived.  An OBGYN came into talk to us and said she was going to remove all the tissue which she thought was mainly blood clots that were stuck in my cervix and I was unable to contract all of them out and why I was in so much pain.  She also was really nice and very knowledgeable which always makes me feel better.  She was confident that she removed all of the blood clots which did have some tissue in them still.

The best part, amazing that there could be in all that trauma, was that we found our baby would be buried and also be sent to pathology for genetic testing.  We were also given a poem, actually two, but one had a pin with it.  I will take a photo soon and post it.  I have been feeling like there has been no closure or grieving for this child, so this was very comforting for me that my child was knowledge by people who did not even know us.

I was told to call my doctor and have a follow up appointment 3-5 days later but when I heard back from one of the nurses at my doctor's office she told me Dr. W does not feel like you need to come in but I wanted to I could.  WTF?!?!  Like this hasn't been a horrible enough experience that now I'm questioning my doctor and not sure if I can trust him.  So I'm going in on Monday for a follow up appointment.  The never ending story continues....