good weekend

I feel like it's been quite some time since we've had a good weekend despite not feeling too hot on Saturday morning.  It was one of those weekends that was just fun and relaxed, one of those weekends that reminds me if we did have kids this type of weekend would not have occurred.  I know we will have babysitters willing at the drop of a hat to watch our kids :) (ok maybe a little extreme well probably not) but it still means not just heading out for pizza at 8pm on a Friday night then out for a bit of Christmas shopping afterward or laying in bed on Sunday morning watching tv and drinking coffee.  I am already beyond thrilled to be woken up early on weekends and during the middle of the night and not go out for pizza or drinks on weekends with friends to be able to stay at home with our kids but it was definitely nice to finally have a relaxing and fun weekend which was much overdue.

i heart running

I have read many articles about how losing a little bit of weight can help manage PCOS, so I started running.   I HEART RUNNING now!  Everyday I want to lace up my shoes and hit the pavement or find a trail, it does not always work out in my favor but that's ok too.

I have been reading more and more about yoga for fertility.  I have searched for a long time to find some sort of fertility based yoga in our area but nothing, the closest being in Chicago.  I was so excited when I found out that there are fertility yoga dvds out there which is great because it's only a one time expense opposed to an every time I go or class fee which can be very costly and not exactly what I'm looking for.  I've decided to add yoga to my routine since the times I have done it I love it and if there are health benefits involved for improving my fertility why the heck not!

i swore

I swore I'd never use another OPK (ovulation predictor kit)!  There I was yesterday in Walmart and I had this brilliant idea to buy OPKs just out of curiosity.  It was like I had the little angel and devil on my shoulders...angel saying,"don't do it's a waste of money" and devil saying,"do it, do it!"  Ugh and I bought them, $13 later at home peeing in an sour cream container only to see a negative OPK which is probably exactly right being it was only day 10.  I wanted to be as relaxed and enjoy this month as much as possible but here I am again in this stupid world of TTC (trying to conceive).  Oh well no turning back now...

none in the oven

I came across this website None in the Oven - Inconceivable yesterday via RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association.  An actress who has a real life struggle with infertility decided to make a web series about the ups and downs of her infertility journey.  It keeps the seriousness of infertility but with a light side to it as well that most of us living that same life experience everyday.  Sort of like my family watching me get my 1st hCG shot in the butt via Skype!

bereaved mother

Do not judge the bereaved mother. She comes in many forms.  She is breathing, but she is dying.  She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.  She smiles, but her heart sobs.  She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she IS NOT, all at once.  She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.

no word

"When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or widower. But, when parents lose a child, there isn't a word to describe them." - Ronald Reagan.

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

Many people know that October is the nationally recognized month of Breast Cancer Awareness.  Most do not know that it is also the nationally recognized month of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness as proclaimed by President Ronald Reagan in 1988. What better time for me to let the world know what I am suffering through.  Some might laugh or think it's funny that it's such a huge and scary step to put that out there to the world via Facebook but it has been a secret for 3 years now and as perfectly stated by S, "it's who we are."  I'm not doing it for attention or people to take pity on me just for the world to know this is a topic that is taboo and needs support and attention.