edd

Baby Sweet Pea's EDD (estimated due date) is today.  It always bothers me thinking about the things I should be doing today like having a baby or or waiting impatiently for my baby to arrive but once again I'm not.  I realized yesterday that even though I've been super busy with work I've been avoiding thinking or talking about this day.  And the day is here and I still don't want to talk about it, I'd actually like to pretend it's just a normal day.  Not a day where I feel like staying in bed all day, crying for my baby that I will never hold.  Not a day where I feel like I got punched in my stomach and had my heart ripped from my chest.  I feel so different than I did with baby SC's EDD I wanted to celebrate that day which in turn makes me feel horrible but I know each day I grieve is going to be different than the last or the ones to come.

I love you baby Sweet Pea!