waiting

I HATE WAITING!  Have I ever expressed this before? (said with a heavy dose of sarcasm)  I wish I could keep my mind from constantly thinking am I pregnant or not.  I am constantly wishing I could see inside my body to know what is going on, is everything working the way God intended it to.  I am always questioning did we make the right decision by not doing another IUI cycle this past month.  We are now also waiting on our new insurance, well at least to find out how long before we have new insurance from S's new job.  Our current insurance will end November 30th.  We made the decision of not doing another IUI based on the fact we'd hopefully be seeing a new OBGYN at some point this past month, well that didn't happen.  So now we are in this crazy waiting period of not knowing what our next move is or what our options even are especially with S having training out of state in November and some of December that rules out another month or two of IUIs as an option since he is needed for the IUI.  I feel like I need to learn something from all of this but not sure what that something is and at the same time I feel like I have learned a lot of things and should have my chance at having a child with no more waiting other than a full 9 months of being pregnant to hold my baby in my arms.